How NOT to Make a Nascar Birthday Cake

Lamb Cooks includes the phrase "Patience Has No Place In My Kitchen". Allow to me demonstrate exactly what I mean.

Impressed by that race car cake? Me too! But the talented blogger at The Speckled Freckle made it, not me. I knew I didn't have the attention span to make quite as elaborate a cake, but I figured that I could surely pull off a single loop cake for my Nascar fan's birthday. Surely!

First, I got the cars nice and squeaky clean in my ultrasonic jewelry cleaner. Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like sneaking into your husband's office and stealing toy cars from his display case.

My plan was to make the track out of brown frosting (crushed Thin Mints and cocoa powder), use mini marshmallows to line the track, and spread green frosting everywhere else.

I had been cooking all day (you did catch my Meal Plan post, right?) and quickly lost interest in my original plan.

 Yeah, I kind of have a thing for marshmallows (as demonstrated here, here, and here)

 Note the cookie chunks. Lousy food processor.

It's hard to frost a cake!

Oh! There is another marshmallowy link here! This one involves Thin Mints. All my marshmallow links are, by the way, delicious.

 Sprinkles!

 Clear sugar sprinkles are a little dull though, aren't they?

Sexy Nerd is very patriotic.

In case you are wondering, I was not just throwing things on for the sake of a blog post. Anyone who knows me will surely agree that this is how I make all cakes.

Sexy Nerd loves butterscotch chips.

And coconut!

Delicious.

Does this remind you of Nascar? Or that original cake?

 You just have to use your imagination!

At least I knew better than to put Sexy Nerd's toy cars on this mess!

That frosting was so full of butter and cream cheese (and all sorts of other things that I randomly threw in) that I figured refrigeration was a must.

Not exactly the best cake when your fridge space is maxed out.

*Note that there are NO WORMS in the fridge! Woo hoo! 

As you might have guessed, this cake was gooooood. With all that sugar, it kind of had to be!